The Darkness

[Elassa]

The darkness comes
It's not so dark
I can still see
Though only in part

It comes and circles
But I don't mind
It doesn't bother me
We'll be one in time

The darkness and I
We will be one
So stop trying to stop it
I really hope you're done

I don't want your help
I like the darkness
It's not that bad
Its touch like a caress

It's not entirely dark
I must say there is some light
I don't hide from that either
As long as it's not too bright

What do you think now?
Does that frighten you?
The fact I like the dark
Do you think it frightens me too?

Not at all, I tell you
Not at all, dear friend
There is no evil meeting
That I attend

So give up
Give in
There's no use now
I've just now been sucked in

[Elassa]

And no one liked that. Eh, can't win 'em all.

[cree8ivone]

It was a bit 'dark'

Overall it was pretty good. The meter broke down toward the end. Some your phrasing were cool, but there wasn't enough imagery. It also seems to end too quickly. That may be by design, but the abruptness makes it hard for someone to connect with it.

Favorite Line: Its touch like a caress.


Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Keep writing!!

[Elassa]

Thanks for the critiquing! I'll work on that.

[kg00ds]

I like the subject and connected with it immediately. I agree you could polish it up a bit, but we can always do that (as authors). Don't change it too much. It is a good poem. Please post more. God Bless, Keith