Poetry

[twyrch]

The Fiery flame

Along the darkened path of life
I found a match of great delight.
I held it gently in my hands
And finally struck it, giving light.

The flame was large, beyond degree
Filling me with its awesome heat.
I held the match in my gnarled hand,
And watched its flame vanish from sight.

I sought out help from those around,
To keep the flame from going out.
I gave it fuel to burn again,
That it should die, I did not doubt.

As it consumed the wooden stick
The wondrous heat, was searing pain.
I wouldn't let go, and lose the flame.
So we began to burn away.

Now I'm alone, the flame is gone
The fire I had is lost for good.
It burned until it burned no more
And so I look for different wood.

Jeremiah Daniel Edwards

[twyrch]

BECAUSE I REALLY CARE...
By Jeremy Edwards
(adapted from If I Really Cared by Ruth Senter)


Because I really care...
I will look you in the eyes when you talk to me.
I will think about what you're saying
rather than what I'm going to say next.
I will hear your feelings as well as your words.

Because I really care...
I will listen without defending.
I will hear without deciding whether
you are right or wrong.
I will ask you why, not just how and when and where.

Because I really care...
I will allow you inside of me.
I will talk you my hopes, my dreams,
my fears, my hurts.
I will tell you where I've blown it and when I've made it.

Because I really care...
I will laugh with you, but not at you.
I will talk with you and not at you.
And I will know when it is time to do neither.

Because I really care...
I won't climb over your walls,
I will hang around until you let me in the gate.
I won't unlock your secrets,
I will wait until you hand me the key.

Because I really care...
I will love you no matter what,
But I will ask for the best you can give.
And gently draw it from you.

Because I really care...
I will put my scripts away, and
leave my solutions at home.
The performances will end.
We will be ourselves.

[twyrch]

I'll Never Trust Again

It happened with shocking quickness. A student had given his secrets, his trust, his love to his girlfriend.

Suddenly, she cut him off, with no other explanation than "I don't think it's working out..."

He was deeply hurt. He was afraid, wondering if he could recapture the emotions he'd lost.

Sobered, he thought of other people he could trust with his secrets, his inner thoughts and dreams, without risking betrayal.

He considered his parents, but they'd misinterpreted him too many times.

After tries at being honest with them, he had overheard them using a "yes, but listen to what our crazy kid thinks" example for the amusement of their friends.

He knew he couldn't trust his sisters, for they often turned on him selfishly.

He thought of others, more harmless -- his feeble grandparents and the shy, ugly kid next door. But how could they return his love? What would he get back from them?

He thought of God -- but could one trust even him? Didn't his own son, in the moment of his greatest need, cry out, "My God, why have you forsaken me?"

He decided he could love no one without becoming frighteningly vulnerable.

So he didn't. He lived in a shell. He went through polite roles of student, son, brother and friend, but never really revealed himself. It was as though he wore armor. He never reached out or responded to others'
needs.

At least, though, he had himself.

He lived this way for years. One night after a deep sleep, he awoke and found himself in hell.

It wasn't much different.


-- Philip Yancey

[dinadan]

twyrch said:

The Fiery flame

Along the darkened path of life
I found a match of great delight.
I held it gently in my hands
And finally struck it, giving light.

The flame was large, beyond degree
Filling me with its awesome heat.
I held the match in my gnarled hand,
And watched its flame vanish from sight.

I sought out help from those around,
To keep the flame from going out.
I gave it fuel to burn again,
That it should die, I did not doubt.

As it consumed the wooden stick
The wondrous heat, was searing pain.
I wouldn't let go, and lose the flame.
So we began to burn away.

Now I'm alone, the flame is gone
The fire I had is lost for good.
It burned until it burned no more
And so I look for different wood.

Jeremiah Daniel Edwards

This was really, really good. I like it a lot, mostly because it felt like you weren't forcing the rhyme as much. Metre and rhyme are important to poetry, but they aren't necessarily the most important thing. You should just write as the spirit moves you, concentrating on feelings rather than form.

As a mildly humorous and entertaining example of a poem that is very formally perfect but doesn't do much more than amuse one because of it's insanity, consider the following:

"Ode To Spot" (from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Schisms")

Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature,
an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature?
Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses
contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.

I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
a singular development of cat communications
that obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
for a rhythmic stroking of your fur, to demonstrate affection.

A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents;
you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion,
it often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

O Spot, the complex levels of behaviour you display
connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.

[twyrch]

dinadan said:

This was really, really good. I like it a lot, mostly because it felt like you weren't forcing the rhyme as much. Metre and rhyme are important to poetry, but they aren't necessarily the most important thing. You should just write as the spirit moves you, concentrating on feelings rather than form.

Thanks Dinadan.

That was written back in 1997 before rhyme and meter began to move into my writing style. I hope to be more free with the next one that comes along.

LOL... I have seen all of the Star Trek: TNG episodes many times. I loved Data's character... especially when he tried to "experience" humanity.

[dinadan]

I, too, am a hideous Trekker....I own all the next generation dvds. It's a sad but fulfilling addiction.

As a matter of fact, I think that Brett Spiner is one of the most overlooked actors of all time--the man just has an array of amazing talents.

[twyrch]

dinadan said:

I, too, am a hideous Trekker....I own all the next generation dvds. It's a sad but fulfilling addiction.

As a matter of fact, I think that Brett Spiner is one of the most overlooked actors of all time--the man just has an array of amazing talents.

I think that Spiner, Frakes and Stewart are the most versatile actors on the show. I had Seasons 1 - 5 but sold them on EBay when cash was tight. It's alright though... I remember all of them by heart anyway.

Let's not even talking about the Star Trek cards I keep locked in my safe....

[Child of Immanuel]

Whale-song is nice... I kinda like that melancholy sounding stuff...

[dinadan]

Thanks a lot. It's one that I enjoyed.

[twyrch]

Sometimes, lyrics speak to me as much as poetry does... Here are some lyrics from a song by Garth Brooks, called "The River".

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin’ as it flows
And a dreamer’s just a vessel
That must follow where it goes

Trying to learn from what’s behind you
And never knowing what’s in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.

And I will sail my vessel
’til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky

I’ll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
’til the river runs dry.

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
’til what we put off ’til tomorrow
Has now become today

So don’t you sit upon the shoreline
And say you’re satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.

And there’s bound to be rough waters
And I know I’ll take some falls
But with the good lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.

[Daae]

I based this poem off of this tapestry.

Sight

Peaceful
Beautiful
Gentle
The maiden with the unicorn
The flowers, the animals, the trees

Reflection
A moment
Silence
What does he see?
What power does the mirror hold?

Unspoken
Enchanting
Noble
A stately unicorn,
A noble woman

Simple
Complex
Still
The floral patterns
So simple, yet so many threads

[laurelin]

Wow, so much good poetry my brain's overloading.
Dinadan, especially; your work is beautiful!
I don't write a lot of poetry; I have a total of I think nine and a half, most of them from high school.

This is by far my favorite:

One day to earth the angel fell
To meet the dragon from its hell
Angel light scours darkest flame
To defend the mightiest name
Dragon's venom, deep within
A careless trifle, greatest sin
Angel from the highest king
Trumpets, men from death now bring
Battle now the ending song
The tune of time to endless long
The legions of the mighty three
Come cast the dragon to the sea
Behold the glory of the day
Man's great struggle brought to bay
Alas the evil, joy becomes
The angel evil overcomes.

[dinadan]

laurelin said:

Wow, so much good poetry my brain's overloading.
Dinadan, especially; your work is beautiful!
I don't write a lot of poetry; I have a total of I think nine and a half, most of them from high school.

This is by far my favorite:

One day to earth the angel fell
To meet the dragon from its hell
Angel light scours darkest flame
To defend the mightiest name
Dragon's venom, deep within
A careless trifle, greatest sin
Angel from the highest king
Trumpets, men from death now bring
Battle now the ending song
The tune of time to endless long
The legions of the mighty three
Come cast the dragon to the sea
Behold the glory of the day
Man's great struggle brought to bay
Alas the evil, joy becomes
The angel evil overcomes.

I must warn you, I am highly susceptible to flattery .

You're not a bad poet yourself--it could stand a little tightening up, but it's really quite good. I like poems of rhyming couplets a lot. There's something comforting in them.

I've got an idea--I'm going to start a poem, and everyone can come on and add lines. Here goes:

Of old there was a dragon-lord
Whose face was pretty and adorned
With silver and jewels, with jewels and gold,
And his curse was that he might never grow old.

[laurelin]

With scales that gleamed and glittered red
A roar that shook the land with dread
With monstrous wings. A mighty flight
He soars, a fearful, noble sight

[Daae]

The skies above are his domain
The kingdom where his terror reigns
From within his belly comes forth flame
And none alive know his name