Peer Pressure...

[CynanMachae]

Okay, so here's the scoop.

For those of you who don't know, or care, Holiday World in Santa Claus IN. is opening their new wooden roller coaster this year, the "Voyage". It is going to be the number one wooden coaster in the WORLD, as they say, and I don't think they're lying, 'cause their past two wooden coasters were voted number one when THEY were opened.

Our family reunion is at Holiday World this year. My dad is a big coaster, loves them, but me? not really. I've been on the other wooden ones, but this new one... The longest and fastest wooden coaster in the world, with the most and longest freefalls. wow.

My dad is going to try and make me go on it. I like roller coasters, but the Legend, their older one, is about as intense as I like it. I know that when we get there, however, my dad is gonna push me till I ride it with him, and if I don't I'll never hear the end of it. ;D

I can see this peer pressure before it'll even happen, yet I know it's gonna sneak up on me and HURT. ;D

[Dred]

I'm sorry to hear that you'll be experiencing this. You really shouldn't be forced into doing something you don't want to do. Especially when it comes to something like this. I don't really have any brave words of wisdom for you. I'll pray that you won't get the pressure though.

[dgan]

There are two kinds of fear - rational and irrational.

Rational is like the fear of cancer, or the fear of a car accident, or the fear of popup ads - something bad that happens all the time, statistically, and you actually have a good reason to fear it.

Irrational fear (which I have a ton of, by the way) are fears where you KNOW there is little risk of injury or death, yet you are afraid anyway. Fear of non-poisonous spiders, fear of roller coasters, and fear of your wife - those fall into irrational. Statistically, you have a better chance of being killed by a popup ad than dying on a rollercoaster.

My daughter (she must inherit it from me) has a bazillion irrational fears. I always tell her that if you are going to learn bravery, learn it by overcoming irrational fears. That way, if you ever have to function through a rational fear, you will be more prepared to know how to overcome it.

So I would look at it from the positive side - maybe your dad is just trying to help you (or prod you) into facing your fear.

**dgan is not liable for death, injury, or personal suffering by any who might follow his advice**

[twyrch]

Cynan, like all things in life... if you don't want to do something, you need to stand your ground. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one else will.

I love Holiday World. I used to go there when I was a kid and it was AWESOME

[dreamer]

Or you could just show them and become a contestant on Fear Factor....

( Just a thought)

[frankwanderer]

Try to control the feelings of guilt for saying no, and that may help you deal with the consequences of your choice.

Peer pressure does not generally work because the peer in question is particularly persuasive or charismatic; it works because the pressured person feels guilty for refusing. This is especially true when the “peer pressure” is coming from a family member. Most sorts of peer pressure come through requests by our peers that do not, on the surface and in general, seem unreasonable. For instance, your father asking you to join him on the roller coaster because he thinks its fun and he wants to share that fun with you. Not unreasonable at all, as motivations go, right?

However, whenever we have to say no to something reasonable, irrespective of the explanations under that refusal (which may also be reasonable), we feel guilty. We’re causing disappointment and regret where there was none before, and there is some guilt to be borne. It’s the inability to deal with that which, in large measure, has pushed people to do things suggested by others that they might never do under other circumstances.

If not joining your father in this particular entertainment is not going to work for you, then say no and accept the consequences of your decision. Keep the guilt under control, so things don’t get too far out of hand (a little guilt doesn’t hurt much; a lot is a problem). And finally, look for some way to make amends. It probably won’t take much, as your father’s main motivation is likely to have fun with you, and honestly, we are only talking about a very little disappointment in the grand scheme of things.

Now, all that said, it’s the role of those around us to occasionally give us a shove when we balk at new experiences. We would be lesser people if we didn’t occasionally step out of the comfort zone and stretch, and one of the purposes of friends and family around us is to help us stretch those boundaries. You may have the intuitive sense to guess that the roller coaster is going to be a poor experience for you, but you don’t necessarily know that yet. You may also have the intuitive sense to guess that you will have to deal with painful guilt over saying no and disappointing your father, but you don’t necessarily know that yet either. In cases like this, it might be worth your consideration of which unknown might actually be the “lesser evil”.

Or, if you really don’t wish to have your boundaries pushed in this instance, make certain you take advantage of a reasonable (not harmful) opportunity to push your boundaries the next time. Even if that next time is actually more uncomfortable then this time; again however, and I strongly emphasize this, the line remains drawn against those opportunities that are actually harmful to you. It’s important to always maintain a balanced approached between comfort and growth, no matter how old you are.

Frank the Wanderer

[CynanMachae]

Oh, I knew I would, but I gave in. Here was how I spent my weekend:
www.holidayworld.com/voyage_video.html

[dancer]

Was is it as painful as you feared?

[CynanMachae]

ah, after it was over it was awesome. But boy, did it hurt my stomach.