Post by Maidryn on Sept 28, 2009 21:27:55 GMT -5
I've been completely absent from Mid-May to just today. I wish I could have warned everyone or said good-bye but I didn't have the chance. I've been seriously ill in a couple of ways and there were a few times when I didn't know if I'd ever get to say anything to any of you again.
My hip gave out and they couldn't operate because of my bad heart. Finally my hip and I are moving again (although very slowly) but my heart is getting worse. I just don't know if I'm going to be going through heart surgery or not. It's risky, invasive and very painful and quite frankly I'm kind of anxious to be "moving on". I'd rather leave it all in God's hands. I was starting to be able to get out of bed at the beginning of August and then my Dad died. I made it to the funeral on August 17, but had to travel 200 miles to get there. I'm finally at home because I don't need around the clock care, but I get checked on regularly. But when one goes to bed at night and you aren't sure where you'll wake up (earth or heaven) it radically alters how you view EVERYTHING. What matters and what just isn't important. We spend so much time getting upset over stupid little things. You also discover if what you believe is real and true and good or just smoke and mirrors. Whether I'm at my father's funeral or just anticipating my own there is one thing I do know without any doubt at all:
I also know that I will not die one second before God wishes it and not one second after. On that inevitable day both my schedule and his will correspond completely.
But for now I am still here and since I've been given at least one more chance to come to this site I wish to say two 'thank yous'.
1) To Stephen Lawhead who has used his talent to glorify God and encourage so many people - the words "Thank You" are simply not enough. I have spent so many wonderful hours visiting the places and characters in his books. He has helped me escape the pain of life, recognize the good in it and draw always one step closer to the Creator of all life.
2) To those of you here at this forum. You welcomed me with warm words, made me think, laugh and wish to come back again and again. Be patient with each other, always give the other person the benefit of the doubt and use your words to build up rather than tear down.
Thanks for listening. I promised that if I got the chance to come here again, this is what I would say.
So whether my heart keeps going for another day, year or decade ... thanks for making my "trip" worth the while.
I remain yours faithfully , Maidryn (real name: Laura-Lee)
Verse:
When I take my last breath and death is drawing near,
I won't be fighting to stay behind, because God's love casts out all fear
Jesus is my closest friend, He has no other peer
I'll be riding on his coat tails, so he will have to steer.
I'm not the only one to call his name, down through all the years
And I'll be another hanger-on when the pearly gates appear.
Chorus:
It's not what you know, but who you know
or so I am told
Jesus carried my sins for me
And that's one heavy load
He claimed my life a long time ago
Even after my soul had been sold
And He's the King of Heaven
So I'll be slidin' on streets of gold.
-song "Who You Know" by Laura-Lee (2009)
My hip gave out and they couldn't operate because of my bad heart. Finally my hip and I are moving again (although very slowly) but my heart is getting worse. I just don't know if I'm going to be going through heart surgery or not. It's risky, invasive and very painful and quite frankly I'm kind of anxious to be "moving on". I'd rather leave it all in God's hands. I was starting to be able to get out of bed at the beginning of August and then my Dad died. I made it to the funeral on August 17, but had to travel 200 miles to get there. I'm finally at home because I don't need around the clock care, but I get checked on regularly. But when one goes to bed at night and you aren't sure where you'll wake up (earth or heaven) it radically alters how you view EVERYTHING. What matters and what just isn't important. We spend so much time getting upset over stupid little things. You also discover if what you believe is real and true and good or just smoke and mirrors. Whether I'm at my father's funeral or just anticipating my own there is one thing I do know without any doubt at all:
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes - I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! (Job 19:25-27)
I also know that I will not die one second before God wishes it and not one second after. On that inevitable day both my schedule and his will correspond completely.
But for now I am still here and since I've been given at least one more chance to come to this site I wish to say two 'thank yous'.
1) To Stephen Lawhead who has used his talent to glorify God and encourage so many people - the words "Thank You" are simply not enough. I have spent so many wonderful hours visiting the places and characters in his books. He has helped me escape the pain of life, recognize the good in it and draw always one step closer to the Creator of all life.
2) To those of you here at this forum. You welcomed me with warm words, made me think, laugh and wish to come back again and again. Be patient with each other, always give the other person the benefit of the doubt and use your words to build up rather than tear down.
Thanks for listening. I promised that if I got the chance to come here again, this is what I would say.
So whether my heart keeps going for another day, year or decade ... thanks for making my "trip" worth the while.
I remain yours faithfully , Maidryn (real name: Laura-Lee)
Verse:
When I take my last breath and death is drawing near,
I won't be fighting to stay behind, because God's love casts out all fear
Jesus is my closest friend, He has no other peer
I'll be riding on his coat tails, so he will have to steer.
I'm not the only one to call his name, down through all the years
And I'll be another hanger-on when the pearly gates appear.
Chorus:
It's not what you know, but who you know
or so I am told
Jesus carried my sins for me
And that's one heavy load
He claimed my life a long time ago
Even after my soul had been sold
And He's the King of Heaven
So I'll be slidin' on streets of gold.
-song "Who You Know" by Laura-Lee (2009)
Attachments:
God bless!
