Poetry

[dgan]

I like the repetition - it really gives a voice to it. Also, I love the way it speaks as a bard, even though it is written to a bard. I read it through several times - it is very enjoyable to read - very peaceful and solemn.

[dgan]

Well, this pretty much breaks every rule of poetry. Oh, well.

I tremble at the mountain of truth.
The words are lost from my tongue.
The courage is stripped from my heart.
I cry a river of despair and regret.

We have showered you with love since that day.
Yet, it is not easier in the telling.
You are so small, how will you understand?
We loved you then, with as much love as we do now.

Three days you spent apart from your mother’s arms.
Three days full, we agonized in our grief.
Three days, but you were cared for well.
Three days I would give anything to change.

It is for the best I would like to think.
That it hardened our resolve to succeed.
To be parents worthy of a most precious child.
To be parents who failed, but loved without end.

I promise on my soul, we acted out of love
And love showed us truth and opened our eyes.
We embraced you once more with tears of joy.
We loved you,
We love you,
Please forgive us, dearest daughter.

[cree8ivone]

dgan - that's some deep emotional poetry - fantastic job!


dinadan - i liked both of your poems. the Excaliber one was wonderfully narrative and untitled one is like 'An Ode to Bards', which is cleverly ironic. - well done!

[dinadan]

Thanks very much for all the kind words, everyone.

dgan--you're poem doesn't break any rules (I might ask "what rules?"), and it's very, very good. It conveys a deep sense of remorse, and moves its reader. That's the aim of poetry, to provoke emotion in the reader/hearer--and yours did that admirably.

[karenee]

I completely agree with dinadan

[dgan]

Thanks. *deletes link to 671 results from Google search 'rules of poetry'*

[karenee]

LOL That's the way! *cheers*

Poetry is simply a direct path to the heart, using description and phrase that may often be unconventional. If you reach the heart with your words, I'm of the opinion that you have succeeded. The rules are simply there if you want to try traditional forms.

[cree8ivone]

I like using the rules of poetry to bend the traditional forms and come up with new ones. But I'm a geek that way.

For Example.....

Wedge

its innocent beginnings, belies intent with winnings
just a subtle compromise, brightens up my crying
eyes, plus 1 or 2 won’t hurt me, and logic won’t
desert me, daily growing deaf and dumb, blind
I find that I’ve succumb, I’m overcome
& numb, & then I’m sunk from below
I’m ambushed a final blow, it
fires my fears ceramic, I’m
manic seized with panic
and I’m pushed up to
the edge, now I’m
standing on
the ledge
wedge

© cree8iv Productions // Chip Conrad

[Child of Immanuel]

That is nifty, cree!

[karenee]

Ohh, that's like the tail in Alice in Wonderland! LOL Fun, and a nice shape. I also like the words.

I've used shaped lines before, but never a specific shape for the whole poem, just whatever emphasises what I want to say. This is interesting. I'll have to try it one day.

[dgan]

*stands in awe*

[cree8ivone]

Wow! Thanks guys. I really enjoyed writing this poem. The rhyme and the rhythm were fun to play with and the shape was to help 'drive' home the 'point'. - hehe

[twyrch]

cree8ivone said:

I like using the rules of poetry to bend the traditional forms and come up with new ones. But I'm a geek that way.

For Example.....

Wedge

its innocent beginnings, belies intent with winnings
just a subtle compromise, brightens up my crying
eyes, plus 1 or 2 won’t hurt me, and logic won’t
desert me, daily growing deaf and dumb, blind
I find that I’ve succumb, I’m overcome
& numb, & then I’m sunk from below
I’m ambushed a final blow, it
fires my fears ceramic, I’m
manic seized with panic
and I’m pushed up to
the edge, now I’m
standing on
the ledge
wedge

© cree8iv Productions // Chip Conrad

I'm nominating this for Post of the Week!!! This is Awesome!!!

[cree8ivone]

Thanks Twyrch!!

[laurelin]

*applauds* ;D