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Post by Hinata on Jan 12, 2006 12:03:18 GMT -5
So I had this meeting with the president of the speech/debate team on Tuesday and he accussed me of patronizing him and having rough language because of a) my use of sacrasm and b) my intonations.
Now, I want to ask you all. . . do you think I have rough language at all?
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Post by Shazammm on Jan 12, 2006 12:26:43 GMT -5
not when you've talked to me......but then again, you're rarely ever sarcastic with me.   |
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Post by Hinata on Jan 12, 2006 12:27:24 GMT -5
Nope, never sarcastic with you |
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Post by karenee on Jan 12, 2006 14:56:25 GMT -5
Hinata, I'm glad you want to make sure you aren't harsh. It seems to me from your posts here and on your blog that you probably don't cut people up very often, but a well put-together arguement can sometimes feel harsh to someone who doesn't want to change their mind.
I know from experience, when I am called to account for something or there is disagreement about what I consider absolute fact, then I feel attacked whether or not my perception of the other's approach is true.
It sounds like you were challenging him... so perhaps he saw the challenge and added the rest. (I can't know. I wasn't there.) Perhaps you could speak to him again and ask what specifically you said that seemed most harsh to him?
Personally, I like the direct approach best, even if it hurts most at the start. The probability of long term damage from someone speaking to me about a problem is far smaller than if they talk to others or let it build into a monster. Kudos to you for talking to him about the issue.
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Bard Child
Scholar
[M:765]
What is your battlecry, Tribal Soldier!
Posts: 60
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Post by Bard Child on Jan 12, 2006 15:47:52 GMT -5
In a debate team, ya need to be rough. I myself think that your language is fine. And I love using saracasm when I debate
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Post by Dred on Jan 12, 2006 18:11:59 GMT -5
I have never seen anything wrong with what you say. Sarcasm isn't a bad thing and neither is using different intonations in your voice.
It would be one thing if you were constantly swearing and berating people but that just isn't you.
I think this person is more than a little oversensitive.
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Post by kg00ds on Jan 12, 2006 21:02:47 GMT -5
I have to agree with karenee and dred. You are one of the most agreeable personalities here. Don,t let this lil set back get you down. YOU are NOT harsh.  |
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Post by Margim on Jan 12, 2006 21:16:02 GMT -5
Yeah... the guy's a jerk  |
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Post by dgan on Jan 12, 2006 23:22:24 GMT -5
I would like to have a few more details. Did he accuse you for doing those things during a debate or during the meeting you had with him? If it was during a debate that you were being rough or (heaven forbit!) sarcastic, then dude is just trying to get under you skin and may have issues with being humiliated by a girl. (You go!) However, if he said you were being patronizing or whatever during the meeting, at that point it sounds like the debate was over. In such a case, perhaps he would expect you to tone it down a bit and have more of a conversation rather than a debate. dgan - ever the diplomatic one...  |
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Post by chrystalized on Jan 13, 2006 2:56:00 GMT -5
heaven forbid he should ever meet me, i dont use alot of bad language, next to none in fact, but i enjoy being very sarcastic.
you have never appeared to be like he described you, in fact i find you to be the oppisite, you are very respectful, and i value your opinions very much.
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Post by Hinata on Jan 13, 2006 3:28:20 GMT -5
It was in a discussion we had, not a debate and I was apparently doing fine in his book until my final comment which was "Well, those are your people to contact." This was after I had to bring the topic back to what we were supposed to be discussing (The team's traveling not his own private traveling) several times throughout the evening.
I'm often sarcastic with someone who just isn't getting a hint. . .like when he wasn't understanding that I didn't care about his travel schedule so long as we had money to travel this semester and next . . . thus I start using sarcasim.
I think you guys are right. . he's overly sensative. . .me thinks it comes with the territory of being gay. . .it just annoys me that he wants me to be someone that I will never be. If I have something to say, I'll say it and I won't sugar coat it. . .unless it's with sarcasm. Life is too short to beat around bushes to make everyone feel better
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Post by dgan on Jan 13, 2006 3:33:44 GMT -5
ummm....not touching that one....
but good for you for insisting on being you.
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Post by laurelin on Jan 13, 2006 13:15:15 GMT -5
Second that. And you have never come across as remotely "harsh" in any way to me; the opposite, in fact.
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Post by DanTheMan on Jan 13, 2006 13:36:22 GMT -5
I think perhaps your abilities and intelligence cause him to feel insecure. He may be insecure about his own abilities and he sees you as his biggest "threat". I think he needs to put his pride aside and do his best to get a good team together. He will likely continue to be difficultm, though. My advice would be to keep doing your best for the team and trust that it will work out. Stay strong.
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Post by Dred on Jan 13, 2006 14:38:25 GMT -5
The guy is a GIT, pure and simple.
You haven't done anything wrong. He needs to grow up and realize not everything in this world is going to be the way he wants it to be.
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