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Post by Hinata on Aug 8, 2005 23:13:50 GMT -5
I'm here, wide awake again
This fear is something I call a friend
Hello again
It's been a while since I saw you here
I don't remeber you saying goodbye
No,
It doesn't matter it's over
Here I've been waiting
All my life
All this time
It doesn't matter it's over
Here I've been waiting
All my life
All this time
Here we go, jump to the stars above
So low, why do I fall to love?
Hello my love
This voice never called your name
This boy would never be the same
No,
It don't matter it's over
Here I've been waiting
All my life
All this time
It don't matter it's over
Here I've been waiting
All my life
All this time
Don't let it end up this way
Don't spend another night afraid
Don't let it end up this way
Hey-yeah
Don't matter it's over
Here I've been waiting
All my life
All this time
Don't matter it's over
Here I've been waiting
All my life
All this time
All this time
I'm here, wide awake again
I'm listening to this song by Vertical Horizon and I think I know what's happening. . . I'm scared out of my wits end. . .what if he doesn't like me? What if he's just a nice guy? What if I'm not loveable?
I hate "What ifs". . .does anyone have that Shell Sliverstine poem?
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Post by Hinata on Aug 8, 2005 23:18:21 GMT -5
Okay. . .so I found the poem. . .
Whatifs
By Shel Silverstein
Last night, while I lay thinking here,
some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
and pranced and partied all night long
and sang their same old Whatif song:
Whatif I'm dumb in school?
Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?
Whatif I get beat up?
Whatif there's poison in my cup?
Whatif I start to cry?
Whatif I get sick and die?
Whatif I flunk that test?
Whatif green hair grows on my chest?
Whatif nobody likes me?
Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?
Whatif I don't grow talle?
Whatif my head starts getting smaller?
Whatif the fish won't bite?
Whatif the wind tears up my kite?
Whatif they start a war?
Whatif my parents get divorced?
Whatif the bus is late?
Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?
Whatif I tear my pants?
Whatif I never learn to dance?
Everything seems well, and then
the nighttime Whatifs strike again!
This is how I'm feeling concerning the recent developments in my life. . .I can't explain why. . .I can't shake the feeling. . .but I want him to love me. . .which is silly because I can't make him do anything. . .I wish I had more surety on this. . .
Sorry guys. . .I'm just really bored and no one is online to talk to.
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Post by Dred on Aug 9, 2005 7:45:48 GMT -5
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. It's never enjoyable to think through all the potential whatifs we can face.
Pray and put your trust in God. We can only handle so many things on our own but it is through God that all things are possible.
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Post by Hinata on Aug 9, 2005 10:55:45 GMT -5
thanks Dred. . .shortly after I posted, I made that thread at TBs but not before I thought of something else. . .something that banished the whatifs. . .Whatif this is Satan trying to convince me I'm not good enough? That ended them immediatelyl
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Post by twyrch on Aug 9, 2005 14:26:25 GMT -5
thanks Dred. . .shortly after I posted, I made that thread at TBs but not before I thought of something else. . .something that banished the whatifs. . .Whatif this is Satan trying to convince me I'm not good enough? That ended them immediatelyl Hinata, I think you're on the right track here. Satan will do anything to derail God's plan for your life. He loves to sow doubt and discontent, to cause God's children to stumble and lose faith. I want to share a few verses with you... I know I've shared them before, but they bear repeating and remembering. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Mosiah 4:6 "I say unto you, if ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and his matchless power, and his wisdom, and his patience, and his long-suffering towards the children of men; and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the world, that thereby salvation might come to him that should put his trust in the Lord, and should be diligent in keeping his commandments, and continue in the faith even unto the end of his life, I mean the life of the mortal body" Remember Paul's words to the Hebrews, in Hebrews 12:1-3. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." And Paul's message in Phillipians4:13, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength. " You can do this Hinata!! Don't let the wiles of the Devil ensnare you and keep you from following your heart and the path God has laid before you. Keep the Faith... Trust in Him... and never take your eyes off Heavenly Father. All things will work out to his Glory... Trust him and See.... |
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Post by Hinata on Aug 9, 2005 23:07:59 GMT -5
Trust. . .that was never an easy one for me. . .I just can't help but remember ASU. . .I don't know why, but I was told everything will be okay. . .that was during that whole OTHER situation. . .I wonder if this is how everything would be okay, is this what was meant?
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Post by twyrch on Aug 10, 2005 8:42:54 GMT -5
Trust. . .that was never an easy one for me. . .I just can't help but remember ASU. . .I don't know why, but I was told everything will be okay. . .that was during that whole OTHER situation. . .I wonder if this is how everything would be okay, is this what was meant? The OTHER situation was just what I told you it would be... a stepping stone along the path of life. A neccessary meeting to lead you to your destiny at UNM. Remember the words of your Bishop... Re-read you PB... search the scriptures and go to God in prayer. Only he can calm your spirit and give you peace. Nothing else of this world can do that for you. You have to just let go and stop trying to control this situation. Remember what happened when you wrote the other poem and tried to force God's hand... remember the feelings you got then. Follow your heart and trust your feelings. God will let you know his will in your life. |
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Post by DanTheMan on Aug 10, 2005 9:26:25 GMT -5
It's just plain tough waiting, isn't it? Not knowing. I don't know if I can add much to the good advice already given here. Perhaps you just need to find something to occupy your mind between now and the date. *starts thinking* I know - read your first Lawhead book!
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Post by Hinata on Aug 10, 2005 10:24:03 GMT -5
eh, I started War of the Worlds last night because I had a copy of it in my room. . .I'll get to lawhead, don't worry. . .
As for your advice niichan. . .I read my PB yesterday and the day before it. I know what it says in there nearly by heart and yet there are times when I feel like I'm starting to understand it. It's harder for me to figure out promptings, but I'm working on it. . .this one feels right and good, I hope it is.
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Twyrch /|\
